Graduation Schmaduation

Apparently one of the side effects of graduating college is whiplash. Within six credits of attaining my B.A. in Art History I suddenly find myself overwhelmed by "well-meaning" family and friends questioning my next move. Everywhere I turn I am deflecting a spray of curiosity that is rapidly turning into a pain in the neck, literally. It's becoming increasingly difficult to politely maneuver my way through the "friendly" fire of said interrogations. Euphemisms only get me so far in explaining my "transitional" phase. "I'm currently working on a project to expand my knowledge of human social interactions in public settings involving libations" ("I'm working at a bar until further notice so bug off") doesn't work as often as I'd like it to. I wind up spending more time steeped in pragmatics and semantics than I do developing a career, and to what end? If it was really as easy as typing "Being Awesome" in the Craigslist job search bar, I would obviously already be very rich and very successful. (Side note: I actually tried that and some of the results were 1. Telemarketer, 2. Valet Parker, and 3. Mobile Group Piano Teacher) But it's not and a little trip down memory lane should serve as a thoughtful reminder, o ye judgers, of your own trials post-college and pre-adulthood. If you come to my bar, maybe we can commiserate over a beer.

I don't want to get all sappy and rousing with a proclamation of self-love, but I feel it's appropriate in ending this post to mention that I believe in myself and my process and I'm getting closer every day. It's about the journey, folks, not the destination. So bug off (no euphemisms necessary here).

Salutations,

Stacy

Emoticons are emo Decepticons (ha)

The other night in an IM conversation, someone made my emoticon cry. He was almost inconsolable—he went from a simple colon-parentheses :( to a colon-apostrophe-parentheses :’( in a matter of seconds…poor guy was distraught over his inability to afford a cat named Winky. Sad day.

A bit much? Yeah, I realize I have a problem, but the first step is admitting it…I am addicted to emoticons and will go so far as to say that sometimes I even abuse and overuse them. But is it really that serious of a crime? I think not, and please let me explain.

Verbal communication is a frightening frontier for me. My brain (due to its abnormally large size) moves too fast for my mouth and I stumble over words, can’t get out complete thoughts, and constantly find myself wishing I had cue cards. I cringe every time I hear my cell phone ring, especially if I don’t recognize the number (although this is partially due to the fact creditors and I are on a first name basis) because I am painfully aware of this kind of struggle awaiting me.

Hence, my texting frenzy. Seriously, FRENZY. My parents—yeah, yeah, they still pay my cell phone bill, come on, I’m a struggling artist—had to support my texting addiction by extending my limit to infinity. My PR is 1800 texts in one month which equals out to about sixty a day and means that I have a lot of friends. Or one very annoyed one. My unwavering commitment to text messaging has forced my mom to learn the ways of SMS, as well as the lady I babysit for, my old boss, and several other unfortunate souls.

For the most part it seems like I have my issues under control, right? I have adapted to an alternate means of communication and take responsibility for my “habit”. Here’s the problem: I am sarcastic (sometimes overly so, sorry) and that doesn’t always come across in written communication. I need a way to soften the blow of my facetiousness to avoid sounding brusque, and emoticons are just the ticket. They’re so ingenious! Little punctuation faces that transform the tone of a message with the tap of a key. Granted, sometimes I go overboard. I have been known to compose my own emoticons to convey an unrepresented emotion and sometimes I send text messages with a lone smiley face, no words… :-O (gasp!).

But I’m not hurting anyone. Rather, just the opposite! With emoticons I can still be the hilarious, sarcastic gal I am instead of coming off like a b!+<#. I want be able to maintain a personal tenor in all my interactions and my biting sense of humor is key in that objective. So if I have to sacrifice a little decorum and restraint for personal touch, then so be it.

<3 Stacy